I watched 16 of the worst superhero motion pictures for this text. And to essentially rub salt within the wound, I volunteered. Don’t fear — I didn’t watch them unexpectedly. Some of those I watched once they first got here out, and they’re so unhealthy, I solely want a 5 minute clip for traumatic flashbacks. Why would I do that? In half as a result of I like my superhero motion pictures nearly as a lot as I like superhero comics. Even the unhealthy ones can nonetheless seize one thing from the canon materials — sufficient to work via the ache and discover some pleasure. But there are some absolute flaming practice wrecks full of shit after which formed into the worst superhero motion pictures ever. I imply, steaming piles of shit. You know I’m proper. And now that I’ve catalogued the worst of the worst right here, I’m saving you the ache of watching them your self. Consider this my civil service. Unless you’re into unhealthy superhero motion pictures. Then right here’s your dream checklist. #NoKinkShaming
You could ask, “How did you choose the worst of the worst superhero movies?” Well, past plucking my eyeballs out of my head to throw on the display, I utilized a moderately goal course of with standards to price mentioned motion pictures.
- Did you even learn the supply materials?
- The Soul of a Character
- The Weight of a Villain
Before we leap into the checklist, let me simply level out {that a} superhero film doesn’t should be based mostly on a comic book ebook. There are many superheroes on the market who by no means originated in comics. Superheroes will be present in pc video games and common literary fiction as effectively. However, the latest technology of superhero motion pictures have tended to spawn from comics, because of accessible canon and ease of transferring to the massive display — or so you’d assume. Let’s take a look on the ones that…didn’t.
A Super Bad Movie
The authentic Superman film is an absolute traditional. But the dude ought to have stopped at Superman III. That was unhealthy sufficient. Superman IV is a lot worse. Luthor clones Superman from a single hair strand to create Nuclear Man. At the identical time, Supes is determined to point out the world how cool it’s to be peaceable. Reeves seems drained, the script sounds drained, and as for the unhealthy man, I don’t even know what was taking place with him. It’s simply actually uncomfortable to look at, highlighting a sure monotonous disinterest with Superman for years to return.
I’m additionally not a fan of Superman Returns or Man of Steel, feeling just like the storylines dragged in these as effectively. However, their saving grace comes from main actors, each of whom gave their finest with scripts that by no means actually touched on the canon of the comics or the spirit of the character.
Bat Shit Films
Batman is without doubt one of the favourites in Hollywood. He’s like a endless money machine, and the followers like it — apart from Batman & Robin (1997). Nobody needs to speak about that one. It begins with the nipple fits. How are you able to name your self the Dark Knight along with your headlights set to the excessive beam? The largest disappointment comes from Batgirl and the whole do-over of her historical past. It wasn’t even satisfying to rewatch as a joke.
Honourable mentions for The Batman (2022) and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016). I fell asleep throughout The Batman; it dragged. Like a face on the bitumen. DoJ was haphazard, feeling like a music video piecing collectively a bunch of memes with a star cameo that was lowered to a male-gaze digicam shot up her skirt. Just ick.
So Bad, They Screwed It Up Twice
This one is a double-hitter as a result of Fox Studios tried to make the Dark Phoenix Saga twice and made two motion pictures that each qualify for Worst Superhero Movie Ever. X-Men: Last Stand (2006) was the third within the X-Men film sequence. A “cure” for mutations is created, and opens the controversy on whether or not mutants have to be “cured.” It must be an important alternative to speak concerning the autonomy of mutants as a part of their self-determination and entry to primary rights. But as an alternative, they carry in two outdated white guys combating over the new-and-improved Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix. It wasn’t sufficient to disregard any character improvement with the remainder of solid; they needed to go and mess with the “special star” as effectively.
Rebooting the X-Men film sequence gave Dark Phoenix (2019) the chance to repair X3’s legacy. It was solely marginally higher, partly as a result of it lastly gave Jean Grey some company over her story by the top of the movie. It was merely a protracted slog to achieve that second, and by then, it was a little bit anti-climatic. While Jean spends a lot of the movie combating towards these attempting to comprise her, the film may actually have finished with a little bit of launch itself. This is without doubt one of the strongest mutants in one of the vital iconic story arcs, and it feels such as you lowered it to 2 guys combating over a woman. Again.
Super Mario Nightmares
I truly don’t thoughts Super Mario Bros (1993). Oh, it’s unhealthy. Like, actually unhealthy. Lead actors Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo would get drunk before filming each day and continue to drink between takes. Personally, I feel which will assist with watching it as effectively. However, I’m unsure it will have helped with the Goombas. Somehow, regardless of the horrifying make-up, the film has hit cult standing. Thirty years later, The Super Mario Bros Movie may be capable of lastly shake off the unhealthy rep of its predecessor. I’d accept a film that doesn’t make my pores and skin crawl.
Did Supergirl Do It Better?
Speaking of consuming motion pictures, Supergirl (1984) undoubtedly seems like all the solid is consuming all through the movie. Kara travels from Argo City via Inner Space to Earth to retrieve the Omegahedron and save her dwelling. Helen Slater is sadly fairly forgettable as Supergirl/Kara, overshadowed by Faye Dunaway embracing her New-Age attractive witch and Peter O’Toole embracing his drunk uncle determine. I beloved this movie as a child, particularly because it was the primary superhero movie that includes a feminine most important character. Am I sharing it with my 9-year-old daughter? Nope. Rewatching it not too long ago, I realised how demeaning the dialogue was in the direction of the feminine characters and the necessity for consent. Like an inexpensive knock-off wine, it has not aged effectively.
The Ghost Who Walks Right Out of the Cinema
Do you even find out about The Phantom (1996)? Don’t fret, not many individuals do. Despite casting some huge stars from the Nineties (Billy Zane, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Kristy Swanson), the film merely sank into the shadows. The storyline is ready within the Twenties, and the choreography appears caught there too. While Zane seems like he’s having enjoyable on set, he’s let down by the scriptwriting and horribly outdated puns. The film, sadly, rests on racist and sexist stereotypes, while concurrently calling itself nostalgic and good ol’style enjoyable.
Nothing Fantastic About This
The Fantastic Four are Marvel’s First Family. They are speculated to be the cream of the crop, with highly effective super-enhancements, risky household dynamics, and among the finest super-villains within the historical past of villainy (a hill I’m prepared to die on). The first two motion pictures have been quirky, however not horrible. They have been not less than enjoyable to look at, even when they weren’t constant. Maybe that gave false hope to Fox Studios and the tried reboot with Fantastic Four (2015). Just since you slapped a 4 on the poster doesn’t imply you can begin printing cash. While a lot of the casting criticism got here from racist fanboys, trailers quickly confirmed a narrative missing in any charisma regardless of the efforts of the celebrities. By the time the film launched in cinemas, no one wished to see it. There was completely no enchantment or leisure felt in any of the promotion. Essentially, all of the hope was sucked out of the film itself. This is presumably probably the most boring film ever, which is NOT what you need from a superhero film.
Elektra: All About the Money
Daredevil (2003) was not an important movie. It doesn’t qualify as Worst Superhero Movie Ever, but it surely undoubtedly did not deserve a sequel. Yet, a sequel/spin-off was made. Jennifer Garner tried to profit from it. She actually did. Fresh from her Alias days, Garner places some critical effort into her struggle scenes — not you could inform with the fixed “slow down” impact with digicam work. The film is additional weighed down by dry heavy dialogue and repetitive flashbacks that draw back from the characters. The solely advantage of Elektra (2005) is that it was so unhealthy, Fox lastly gave up on all the Daredevil/Elektra franchise and launched the rights to each characters again to Marvel. Without this practice wreck, we might by no means have had Netflix’s Daredevil sequence.
DC Team-Ups are the Worst
I received a Blu-Ray copy of Suicide Squad (2016) in a contest, and it’s not even price utilizing the disc as a coaster. There was a spark of pleasure with the casting, or not less than with Margot Robbie. All of that went flying out the window with the shortage of story, the haphazard filming, and the whole and utter mess that was Jared Leto’s Joker. Or perhaps simply Jared Leto. I’m shocked they nonetheless went forward with The Suicide Squad (2021), but when we’re being trustworthy with ourselves, everyone knows Robbie is the true hero of this story. Without Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn), there would by no means have been any religion in making a sequel to Suicide Squad.
Arguably, Suicide Squad isn’t the worst of the DC motion pictures. That honour will be shared with Justice League (2017). While it could possibly be given a corridor move because of the tragic interruption in the course of the making of the film, it’s not like the unique materials was stellar to start with. If Superman v Batman: Dawn of Justice was Snyder’s place to begin, then perhaps Warner Bros must revisit the comedian books and contemplate what makes a superhero (trace: It’s not the CGI).
Not Even My Kids Could Stomach This
A closing particular point out goes to The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl (2005). This movie has turn out to be the benchmark for Worst Superhero Movie Ever in our home. I don’t even keep in mind once we initially watched it on TV, however I do keep in mind our then 3-year-old and 6-year-old sons asking us to show the TV off. In their phrases, “This is so bad, the TV needs a time-out.” The preliminary idea is nice: Max escapes his bullied actuality by creating superheroes Lavagirl and Sharkboy. Then the characters come to life, in want of Max’s assist to save lots of their very own world. It then turns into too candy, sugarcoating the emotional affect of the storyline and making the characters shallow 2D copies of themselves — which is ironic, contemplating how a lot push this had for 3D viewing in cinemas. The film is so depending on the 3D SFX, each motivational speech feels tacked on with toffee. The characters attained some degree of redemption, with Lavagirl’s cameo in We Can Be Heroes (2020) — one other candy children’ movie, with marginally extra substance than its predecessor.
This is on no account a definitive checklist, although they’re undoubtedly a number of the worst superhero motion pictures ever. What’s actually irritating about this checklist is the repetition of why the films are so unhealthy. So many superhero storylines have a number of makes an attempt at making them into good motion pictures, solely to end in the identical errors again and again. It’s nearly like film producers are solely all for fast formulation for a similar cash reward. If you actually wish to be a moneymaker, take a step away from the usual superhero variations and have an excellent have a look at your supply materials. There are so many incredible creators on the market with contemporary concepts to blow your thoughts. Check out Caitlin’s list of suggestions here. And to see what makes an excellent comedian ebook adaptation, read about Nicola Scott and Tom Taylor’s ideas here.
List of Worst Superhero Movies Ever
- Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
- Superman Returns
- Man of Steel
- Batman & Robin
- The Batman
- Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
- X-Men: Last Stand (X3)
- Dark Phoenix
- Super Mario Bros
- Supergirl
- The Phantom
- Fantastic Four
- Elektra
- Suicide Squad
- Justice League
- The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl